This is a reference to an old movie starring Rory Calhoun (you know him—the one who’s always standing up and walking?) about a man who kidnaps guests at his motel and makes them into smoked sausage to sell at the roadside. “Motel Hell” is also the name of a blog that posts postcards of 1950s motor inns, several of which uncannily resemble many present day Weirs Beach motels.
My goal today is to help you find a place to stay that is clean, well-located, reasonably priced, with no evidence of cannibalism on or near the premises.
This is not as easy as it sounds.
For one, it is a Nascar weekend. There is a big racetrack approximately a half hour away from the Weirs Beach area, and many people who attend the races stay in the area, mostly showing up after dark (I will avoid negative stereotyping here, but I did go to one Nascar race in the early 1990s. Did you know it’s just cars going around in a circle? Well, I didn’t.)
It’s also the weekend after Motorcycle week, the biggest event in the Weirs all year, our version of Sturgis. Many families wait until after Bike Week to start their summer, so the weekend of the 26th/27th is sort of the unofficial “kickoff” o f the summer season: the lake is warming up, the beaches are open for business, it’s finally hot out. We will be competing for rooms with both vacationers and Nascar fans, which means that rooms are at a premium (can be up to $250-300/night).It’s also very hard to tell based on websites which places are decent and which ones are dumps, or which places are close to civilization and which ones are remote—this is not like Kennebunkport or even Portsmouth, where pretty much every tourist hotel is guaranteed to be nice.
This is all my very roundabout way of suggesting that you may want to book your hotel or lodging sooner rather than later. For those of you driving a distance or flying, we want to provide some low or no-cost lodging options, too.
Hotels/Motels
Below are nearby hotels/motels that are decent and relatively close by and, as of today, still have rooms available. Many of these places have both motels and cottages, and some have cottages that sleep as many as 6 if you have a bigger group. I have linked to them so you can check them out yourself. These places all have good reputations in the area and are known to be clean, well-run, and managed by sane people who will not kidnap you and make you into bratwurst.
1. The Cozy Inn and Cottages (2-night minimum)
2. Barton’s Motel (not sure if there’s a minimum—people interested in staying there are encouraged to write to them and request the dates they want)
3. Inns at Mills Falls (3-night minimum)
4. Grand View Motel and Resort (2 –night minimum)
5. Tuckernuck Inn Bed and Breakfast
Remember that, wherever you stay, we will provide any transportation you need to and from the airport and to and from the wedding and any other group events (wedding morning beach dodgeball, anyone?)
Campgrounds
Just for kicks, I priced the cost of renting a “standard” RV (with shower, kitchen, two double beds) from Chicago to NH for 5 days at about $650, not including gas. I’m not sure if that’s a good deal, but there are numerous campgrounds in the area, including Gunstock Mountain (about 20 minutes from the Weirs) and Ellacoya State Park Beach (also about 20 minutes away). Ellacoya charges just about $47/night for an RV to camp, with hookups for water, power, etc. There are also many campgrounds if you want to set up tents and don’t have an RV—most have showers and some are in really beautiful areas.
Lakeland
My mother has also offered the use of the school she co-owns (and where she also directs and teaches, too) as a lodging place for wedding guests as well. Now, you may be picturing a brick building with tile floors and classrooms, but Lakeland is no ordinary school—it is a magical place where kids wear slippers in class and learn how to snowboard and take classes in multi-aged groups instead of in regular grades. It’s open concept and full of light. The building was once a vacation resort at the turn of the century, and the wraparound porch in the back overlooks a lake (see picture): it is actually in a nicer spot than many of the actual resorts in the area. We can bring in some air mattresses and cots to make it comfortable, and it has bathrooms, a stove, a microwave, fridge, a time out chair, and lots of reading material. One thing it does not have is a shower, but I’m sure my parents would not mind if you showered at their house. Let me know as soon as you can if you are interested in this option so I can let her know.
I also heard the haunted castle is free, if you dare…
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Weirs Beach After Dark
Admittedly, when I actually lived in the Lakes Region I was in high school and it was the 1980s, so night life consisted of going to some bonfire in the middle of the woods with a six-pack of warm beer or going to some kid’s house whose parents were out of town, so I may not have a lot to offer on this topic. However, one fun thing I always did each summer was go to the Weirs Drive in, which has been in operation since the 1950s and still shows first-run double features. Now, the last movie I saw there was “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure,” so it’s been a while, but it’s an old-fashioned drive in with two screens, a radio channel you locate to get the sound, and a snack bar. They also let people watch movies if they show up on foot, but I don’t know what they charge for that and how those people actually hear what’s going on.
I would like to warn you that the bars in the Weirs are not great. Now, we will have missed motorcycle weekend by one week, which will mean fewer bikers (whom all of my friends and co-workers at the Pancake House used to think were great, but I used to secretly detest. Now I can tell the truth: no, the bikers were not “really nice,” and no, they did not tip well.) As for bars in the Weirs, there’s the sleazy Paradise Beach Club, the skanky Mexican restaurant/bar Crazy Gringo, and the even sleazier “Loony Bin”. To be fair, I have not been near any of these places for 20 years or so, so maybe something has changed, but I wouldn’t have high hopes.
Some good places to go: there are two outdoor bars on the beach. My favorite is the Tiki bar at the Town Docks in Meredith bay. The picture you see on the side was taken by C.H. at the Town Docks, when C & C visited us a few years ago. They also have very good food (seafood—both steamers and an all-you-can-eat fish fry, full meals or appetizers) and they often serve drinks in pineapples or coconuts or other large fruits with thick rinds. It is expensive, but one of those will go a long way. Just don’t give any food or alcohol to the ducks; the management really frowns on that.
The other beach bar is at the Naswa Motel, not too far from the Weirs. The Naswa is both trashier and cheaper than the Town Docks, but it often has live music and is supposed to be quite lively. There is also an ice cream place that serves beer and wine by the lake called Liliokulani’s. They were closed last summer so I’m not sure if they will reopen again. It does seem a little strange for an ice cream place to serve liquor, particularly since they also boast of a small swimming beach (that’s just asking for problems) but maybe that’s why they’ve been closed.
One decent place to go for a beer is Patrick’s Pub in Gilford. They have outdoor tables and they also serve food. It has a definite “pub” feel to it and it’s not fancy but I like the tall booths; it feels like a college bar, but in a good way. I usually run into someone I knew a long time ago and need time to recognize. Plus, I can finally say I’m getting married, so I hope I do see some of them!
Another local bar/restaurant is Giuseppe’s in the Mills Falls Marketplace in Meredith. My dad really, really loves the food at Giuseppe’s, but I think it’s because they accept his special dietary requests (everything on the side, and so forth) with patience. I think it’s an OK place, especially if you bring kids (good brick oven pizza), but it has a pretty nice bar. They usually have live performers there, sometimes really annoying (it’s more of a piano bar) and they are often quite loud.
One option, too, is the tavern at Funspot. Yes, they serve drinks at Funspot, in the bowling alley/bingo area. It all comes back to Funspot. If you think about it, there’s something for a person at every age: fun games for children, arcade games for teenagers, bowling for adults, and bingo for the over-50 set: it’s the circle of life!
I would like to warn you that the bars in the Weirs are not great. Now, we will have missed motorcycle weekend by one week, which will mean fewer bikers (whom all of my friends and co-workers at the Pancake House used to think were great, but I used to secretly detest. Now I can tell the truth: no, the bikers were not “really nice,” and no, they did not tip well.) As for bars in the Weirs, there’s the sleazy Paradise Beach Club, the skanky Mexican restaurant/bar Crazy Gringo, and the even sleazier “Loony Bin”. To be fair, I have not been near any of these places for 20 years or so, so maybe something has changed, but I wouldn’t have high hopes.
Some good places to go: there are two outdoor bars on the beach. My favorite is the Tiki bar at the Town Docks in Meredith bay. The picture you see on the side was taken by C.H. at the Town Docks, when C & C visited us a few years ago. They also have very good food (seafood—both steamers and an all-you-can-eat fish fry, full meals or appetizers) and they often serve drinks in pineapples or coconuts or other large fruits with thick rinds. It is expensive, but one of those will go a long way. Just don’t give any food or alcohol to the ducks; the management really frowns on that.
The other beach bar is at the Naswa Motel, not too far from the Weirs. The Naswa is both trashier and cheaper than the Town Docks, but it often has live music and is supposed to be quite lively. There is also an ice cream place that serves beer and wine by the lake called Liliokulani’s. They were closed last summer so I’m not sure if they will reopen again. It does seem a little strange for an ice cream place to serve liquor, particularly since they also boast of a small swimming beach (that’s just asking for problems) but maybe that’s why they’ve been closed.
One decent place to go for a beer is Patrick’s Pub in Gilford. They have outdoor tables and they also serve food. It has a definite “pub” feel to it and it’s not fancy but I like the tall booths; it feels like a college bar, but in a good way. I usually run into someone I knew a long time ago and need time to recognize. Plus, I can finally say I’m getting married, so I hope I do see some of them!
Another local bar/restaurant is Giuseppe’s in the Mills Falls Marketplace in Meredith. My dad really, really loves the food at Giuseppe’s, but I think it’s because they accept his special dietary requests (everything on the side, and so forth) with patience. I think it’s an OK place, especially if you bring kids (good brick oven pizza), but it has a pretty nice bar. They usually have live performers there, sometimes really annoying (it’s more of a piano bar) and they are often quite loud.
One option, too, is the tavern at Funspot. Yes, they serve drinks at Funspot, in the bowling alley/bingo area. It all comes back to Funspot. If you think about it, there’s something for a person at every age: fun games for children, arcade games for teenagers, bowling for adults, and bingo for the over-50 set: it’s the circle of life!
Friday, February 13, 2009
An actual post about the wedding
Scott reminded me that it might be a good idea to give some more information about the wedding itself. I don't want to be like those women on the Knot who assume that the world actually cares about their color scheme and quest for shoes. However, it's true that an update about the planning is probably in order.
So let me tell you all about my color scheme and quest for shoes...
We are also having a second reception in Duluth for Scott's side of the family on July 11th. It's going to be at Scott's parents' house, which is on a lake and is a really pretty spot. We are fortunate to have Jane and Dave planning this for us--I am convinced Jane has super powers, and everything she tries turns out great. We don't have too many details about that reception yet, but I promise to include updates when those come in.
Here is what I know so far about the NH wedding and reception on the MS Mount Washington:
1. Food: We are going to have apple and cranberry stuffed chicken and vegetable lasagna (with white sauce) for the dinner. I know in many circles (curse you, Knot!) chicken spells "cheap," but there are many picky eaters on my side of the family. I have a cousin and aunt who like only about four different food items, and my dad is a vegetarian while my mom eats chicken but no red meat. Rhonda (the ship's wedding planner) has also promised that there will be additional items children will like. For salads we are going with the "California spinach salad with fresh strawberries" and fruit salad. We have selected the rosemary red bliss potatoes and a seasonal vegetable.
2. Cake: I am going to a "cake tasting" with my mom in March, (could anything be more fun?) at Laconia Bakery, which will deliver the cake right to the ship on the weddding day. I want a vanilla cake with fresh strawberries and flowers on it. I originally wanted a ship-shaped cake, but that started to sound like the kind of cake you might have for a child's birthday or someone's retirement party. But I do want a square cake; of that I am certain. Scott really doesn't care (when I refer to something I want or I chose, I'm not disregarding Scott's opinion--there are aspects of this wedding he has genuinely no opinion about, so I get to choose).
3. Clothing: I am wearing a pearl pink tea-length A-line strapless satin dress, very simple--no lace or beads (just a tiny rhinestone buckle on the belt). It has a natural waist--I am not on board with the whole empire waist trend. I know it's supposed to make you look taller, but I think a natural waist looks better. I also found a $3.99 pearl gray satin purse at Target on clearance--it's really cute and I can't believe it was so cheap. I have an off-white wrap already; I just need shoes and a wedding ring. My "something old" is a cultured pearl necklace that my Nana wore to her wedding @ 1940--I just had it cleaned and repaired.
Scott is going to be looking for a seersucker suit in a similar color scheme, tan and white or light gray and white, with a pale pink tie.
4. Flowers: My parents' good friend and neighbor Karen, who is a gardening expert (she just redid her whole house into a greenhouse) is going to be in charge of flowers. She is actually going to grow the flowers I want herself. I don't want one of those neat , pale, sterile bouquets--I want the flowers to look a little bit wild, and I like hydrangea blue, and various pinks, maybe some yellow. Karen is going to do one arrangement for the room, a bouquet for me, a buttoniere for Scott and corsages for the mothers. I am also going to have Karen make a surprise bouquet for our little niece Emma Jane.
5. Entertainment: We opted out of this, because it's a dinner dance cruise on the boat that night and they are going to have two live bands on the upper decks. Now, I have no idea which bands, but Rhonda promised she'd let me know. One will probably be a "big band" type band and the other will be (I'm guessing) country western (sorry, Mom!) because it's a NASCAR weekend up there.
6. Bar: We will have a cash bar in our hall--the boat does not provide an open bar.
7. Photography: None. We are counting on family and friends to take pictures; I am not too crazy about the way photographers pose wedding photographs, anyhow. One of my parents' wedding pictures has my dad holding up a sign saying "under new management" and my mother pointing to the sign, looking mortified. They might as well have had a picture of my dad's new mother-in-law chasing him with a rolling pin (set to Benny Hill theme music).
8. Ceremony: This is going to take place at about 7:30. Our whole group will get to board the boat together (we don't have to wait in the line with everyone else) and we will be immediately escorted into our hall. The boat has to be out on the water before the captain can come down and perform the ceremony. Rhonda told me that everyone should board by 6:15 at the very latest. Now, I have told my brother this, because he is ALWAYS late for everything. I just picture Karl and his girlfriend Sheryl paddling behind the boat in a dinghy, yelling for them to let down the rope ladder. He also told me tonight that he can't send his response card because one of the cats barfed on it.
So here's the plan:
We'll get on the boat @ 6 PM at the Weirs pier, have the ceremony at 7:30, then we eat, then we enjoy the night and the cruise!
So let me tell you all about my color scheme and quest for shoes...
We are also having a second reception in Duluth for Scott's side of the family on July 11th. It's going to be at Scott's parents' house, which is on a lake and is a really pretty spot. We are fortunate to have Jane and Dave planning this for us--I am convinced Jane has super powers, and everything she tries turns out great. We don't have too many details about that reception yet, but I promise to include updates when those come in.
Here is what I know so far about the NH wedding and reception on the MS Mount Washington:
1. Food: We are going to have apple and cranberry stuffed chicken and vegetable lasagna (with white sauce) for the dinner. I know in many circles (curse you, Knot!) chicken spells "cheap," but there are many picky eaters on my side of the family. I have a cousin and aunt who like only about four different food items, and my dad is a vegetarian while my mom eats chicken but no red meat. Rhonda (the ship's wedding planner) has also promised that there will be additional items children will like. For salads we are going with the "California spinach salad with fresh strawberries" and fruit salad. We have selected the rosemary red bliss potatoes and a seasonal vegetable.
2. Cake: I am going to a "cake tasting" with my mom in March, (could anything be more fun?) at Laconia Bakery, which will deliver the cake right to the ship on the weddding day. I want a vanilla cake with fresh strawberries and flowers on it. I originally wanted a ship-shaped cake, but that started to sound like the kind of cake you might have for a child's birthday or someone's retirement party. But I do want a square cake; of that I am certain. Scott really doesn't care (when I refer to something I want or I chose, I'm not disregarding Scott's opinion--there are aspects of this wedding he has genuinely no opinion about, so I get to choose).
3. Clothing: I am wearing a pearl pink tea-length A-line strapless satin dress, very simple--no lace or beads (just a tiny rhinestone buckle on the belt). It has a natural waist--I am not on board with the whole empire waist trend. I know it's supposed to make you look taller, but I think a natural waist looks better. I also found a $3.99 pearl gray satin purse at Target on clearance--it's really cute and I can't believe it was so cheap. I have an off-white wrap already; I just need shoes and a wedding ring. My "something old" is a cultured pearl necklace that my Nana wore to her wedding @ 1940--I just had it cleaned and repaired.
Scott is going to be looking for a seersucker suit in a similar color scheme, tan and white or light gray and white, with a pale pink tie.
4. Flowers: My parents' good friend and neighbor Karen, who is a gardening expert (she just redid her whole house into a greenhouse) is going to be in charge of flowers. She is actually going to grow the flowers I want herself. I don't want one of those neat , pale, sterile bouquets--I want the flowers to look a little bit wild, and I like hydrangea blue, and various pinks, maybe some yellow. Karen is going to do one arrangement for the room, a bouquet for me, a buttoniere for Scott and corsages for the mothers. I am also going to have Karen make a surprise bouquet for our little niece Emma Jane.
5. Entertainment: We opted out of this, because it's a dinner dance cruise on the boat that night and they are going to have two live bands on the upper decks. Now, I have no idea which bands, but Rhonda promised she'd let me know. One will probably be a "big band" type band and the other will be (I'm guessing) country western (sorry, Mom!) because it's a NASCAR weekend up there.
6. Bar: We will have a cash bar in our hall--the boat does not provide an open bar.
7. Photography: None. We are counting on family and friends to take pictures; I am not too crazy about the way photographers pose wedding photographs, anyhow. One of my parents' wedding pictures has my dad holding up a sign saying "under new management" and my mother pointing to the sign, looking mortified. They might as well have had a picture of my dad's new mother-in-law chasing him with a rolling pin (set to Benny Hill theme music).
8. Ceremony: This is going to take place at about 7:30. Our whole group will get to board the boat together (we don't have to wait in the line with everyone else) and we will be immediately escorted into our hall. The boat has to be out on the water before the captain can come down and perform the ceremony. Rhonda told me that everyone should board by 6:15 at the very latest. Now, I have told my brother this, because he is ALWAYS late for everything. I just picture Karl and his girlfriend Sheryl paddling behind the boat in a dinghy, yelling for them to let down the rope ladder. He also told me tonight that he can't send his response card because one of the cats barfed on it.
So here's the plan:
We'll get on the boat @ 6 PM at the Weirs pier, have the ceremony at 7:30, then we eat, then we enjoy the night and the cruise!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Adventure…. Plus Fun: Amusement Parks and Other Fun Day Trips for Kids in New Hampshire
The title of this post refers to the Christmas play at my mother’s school. She co-owns a private school in Meredith, on Lake Wicwas, only a couple of miles from the Weirs Beach area. One of her seventh graders wrote a play about a video game designer who invented the best video game ever created: “Adventure, Plus Fun!” Anyway, the plot has to do with an existential crisis he’s experiencing when he realizes that the game itself will not make people love him; while his game is a phenomenon, children remain indifferent to him. Unlike Santa, he will never be beloved by children.
New Hampshire actually has a lot to offer children, which is surprising since the population here, in general, is geriatric. However, families on vacation are a sought-after demographic, so I guess it makes sense that there are nearly half a dozen amusement/adventure parks within a two-hour radius. I have been to all of these places except for Six-Gun City, because my mother disapproved of country-and-western themed places (don’t ask). If you have children, you will probably enjoy all of them. If you don’t, you’ll still like Attitash and Canobie Lake Park, but you may want to skip the others.
Canobie Lake Park
I am generally not an amusement park fan. They are loud, stinky, hot, and generally exhausting. But Canobie Lake Park is not like the others. It’s not near Weirs Beach at all—in fact, it’s about an hour and a half south, but I feel compelled to write about it, because for the first fourteen years of my life it was my favorite place outside of Disney world. I looked forward to going each summer and would even mark off the days until our next visit.
It’s a basic “Colonial Massachusetts” themed amusement park, but with a twist—it’s on a lake, and it’s actually quite old (and has retained some of that old-timey feel, with its pavilion and antique carousel). Frank Sinatra once played here, as did Duke Ellington and Sonny and Cher—the Pavilion had a large ballroom, and people traveling from Boston to NH on the railway line could stop on their way. When I was in junior high they had a roller rink. There is a nice tranquil lake where you can sit on benches and have a picnic if the crowd gets to be too much.
It has all of the staples—a Ferris wheel, a flume ride, antique cars, two roller coasters, a water park, a picnic area, and a haunted mine ride. My brother does a great impression of the one-toothed grizzled prospector at the start of the mine ride (“Go Baaaaack! Go Baaaaack”) Many of the rides there are the exact same ones that were there when I was a child, but repainted, something that should probably give me pause. There are new rides, too, most of which I can’t handle now that I get motion sickness. Still—they have a rating system that tells you how hard-core a ride is: “black diamonds” are the scariest rides, “blue squares” are in the middle, and “green circles” are the rides that don't go any faster than you can walk.
Storyland
This is up north, in Glen, New Hampshire, but in the Glen area there are no less than three children’s amusement parks—a trifecta!
We used to go there with our cousins as kids, and I have a great photo of the four us sitting in a whale’s mouth. Storyland has a “mother goose” theme, and while it retains some of this theme in their rides (a pumpkin coach, a pirate ship, a carousel, Alice’s tea cup ride) it has also succumbed to the trend of water rides and complex, cutesy names, so now you can lunch at “Senor Munchero’s Taco Hut” after taking a trip on “Dr. Geyser’s Remarkable Raft Ride”, or visiting “Professor Biggleshop’s Loopy Laboratory” (none of the characters go by their first names anymore? Sounds elitist to me!) They also, oddly, count among the “play areas,” something called “Mama’s House,” a place where women can nurse their babies. If you are a nursing mother, having a cute building to nurse in rather than a restroom counts as fun, I guess…
Santa’s Village
If you find yourself really missing Christmas in June, then Santa’s Village is for you. The theme gets old pretty fast, but the “Burgermeister Food Court” is still a fun place to eat, and who can resist a Christmas carousel, or real reindeer, or riding in Christmas-themed bumper cars, ”Santa’s Smokers?” (I hardly believe that Santa would endorse vehicular recklessness). You can also get a ring made at the Blacksmith shop; according to the website, “good luck rings are especially made to fit the finger of choice.”
Six-Gun City
I wanted to go here so badly as a child, but we always went to Storyland or Santa’s Village instead. It’s a Western frontier village/waterpark (the waterpark part is called "Fort Splash"), but the real highlight is the miniature horses that perform in a show and do tricks. They even have miniature horses that can count and spell words with their hooves.
Attitash/The Alpine Slide
This is actually a ski area by winter and a mountainside recreation area in the summer. For one, it has waterslides (really good ones, down a mountain), a regular slide called “the Alpine Slide,” and is home to the “Eurobungy,” which they describe as a “multi-station super trampoline system” that allows you to physically jump two stories high. I wonder if this is the same sort of thing David Foster Wallace wrote about in his essay about the State Fair—you know, the yuppie from the Northeast wearing loafers, suspended in the air?
I went on the waterslides as a child but, in my view, no waterslide or multi-station trampoline can beat the Alpine Slide. For one, you can wear regular clothes and shoes (no bathing suits) and you don’t get chlorine in your eyes and hair—and it’s a little scary but not terrifying. There used to be one of these in Gilford, but it is no longer. When I was younger, my brother, cousin, and their friends used to think they were funny and would brake unexpectedly on hills, backing up all the slide traffic and causing a pileup, kind of like in that Simpsons episode where Homer gets stuck in the slide at Mount Splashmore. Stay away from the line with any junior high kids in it, is the moral of the story.
The title of this post refers to the Christmas play at my mother’s school. She co-owns a private school in Meredith, on Lake Wicwas, only a couple of miles from the Weirs Beach area. One of her seventh graders wrote a play about a video game designer who invented the best video game ever created: “Adventure, Plus Fun!” Anyway, the plot has to do with an existential crisis he’s experiencing when he realizes that the game itself will not make people love him; while his game is a phenomenon, children remain indifferent to him. Unlike Santa, he will never be beloved by children.
New Hampshire actually has a lot to offer children, which is surprising since the population here, in general, is geriatric. However, families on vacation are a sought-after demographic, so I guess it makes sense that there are nearly half a dozen amusement/adventure parks within a two-hour radius. I have been to all of these places except for Six-Gun City, because my mother disapproved of country-and-western themed places (don’t ask). If you have children, you will probably enjoy all of them. If you don’t, you’ll still like Attitash and Canobie Lake Park, but you may want to skip the others.
Canobie Lake Park
I am generally not an amusement park fan. They are loud, stinky, hot, and generally exhausting. But Canobie Lake Park is not like the others. It’s not near Weirs Beach at all—in fact, it’s about an hour and a half south, but I feel compelled to write about it, because for the first fourteen years of my life it was my favorite place outside of Disney world. I looked forward to going each summer and would even mark off the days until our next visit.
It’s a basic “Colonial Massachusetts” themed amusement park, but with a twist—it’s on a lake, and it’s actually quite old (and has retained some of that old-timey feel, with its pavilion and antique carousel). Frank Sinatra once played here, as did Duke Ellington and Sonny and Cher—the Pavilion had a large ballroom, and people traveling from Boston to NH on the railway line could stop on their way. When I was in junior high they had a roller rink. There is a nice tranquil lake where you can sit on benches and have a picnic if the crowd gets to be too much.
It has all of the staples—a Ferris wheel, a flume ride, antique cars, two roller coasters, a water park, a picnic area, and a haunted mine ride. My brother does a great impression of the one-toothed grizzled prospector at the start of the mine ride (“Go Baaaaack! Go Baaaaack”) Many of the rides there are the exact same ones that were there when I was a child, but repainted, something that should probably give me pause. There are new rides, too, most of which I can’t handle now that I get motion sickness. Still—they have a rating system that tells you how hard-core a ride is: “black diamonds” are the scariest rides, “blue squares” are in the middle, and “green circles” are the rides that don't go any faster than you can walk.
Storyland
This is up north, in Glen, New Hampshire, but in the Glen area there are no less than three children’s amusement parks—a trifecta!
We used to go there with our cousins as kids, and I have a great photo of the four us sitting in a whale’s mouth. Storyland has a “mother goose” theme, and while it retains some of this theme in their rides (a pumpkin coach, a pirate ship, a carousel, Alice’s tea cup ride) it has also succumbed to the trend of water rides and complex, cutesy names, so now you can lunch at “Senor Munchero’s Taco Hut” after taking a trip on “Dr. Geyser’s Remarkable Raft Ride”, or visiting “Professor Biggleshop’s Loopy Laboratory” (none of the characters go by their first names anymore? Sounds elitist to me!) They also, oddly, count among the “play areas,” something called “Mama’s House,” a place where women can nurse their babies. If you are a nursing mother, having a cute building to nurse in rather than a restroom counts as fun, I guess…
Santa’s Village
If you find yourself really missing Christmas in June, then Santa’s Village is for you. The theme gets old pretty fast, but the “Burgermeister Food Court” is still a fun place to eat, and who can resist a Christmas carousel, or real reindeer, or riding in Christmas-themed bumper cars, ”Santa’s Smokers?” (I hardly believe that Santa would endorse vehicular recklessness). You can also get a ring made at the Blacksmith shop; according to the website, “good luck rings are especially made to fit the finger of choice.”
Six-Gun City
I wanted to go here so badly as a child, but we always went to Storyland or Santa’s Village instead. It’s a Western frontier village/waterpark (the waterpark part is called "Fort Splash"), but the real highlight is the miniature horses that perform in a show and do tricks. They even have miniature horses that can count and spell words with their hooves.
Attitash/The Alpine Slide
This is actually a ski area by winter and a mountainside recreation area in the summer. For one, it has waterslides (really good ones, down a mountain), a regular slide called “the Alpine Slide,” and is home to the “Eurobungy,” which they describe as a “multi-station super trampoline system” that allows you to physically jump two stories high. I wonder if this is the same sort of thing David Foster Wallace wrote about in his essay about the State Fair—you know, the yuppie from the Northeast wearing loafers, suspended in the air?
I went on the waterslides as a child but, in my view, no waterslide or multi-station trampoline can beat the Alpine Slide. For one, you can wear regular clothes and shoes (no bathing suits) and you don’t get chlorine in your eyes and hair—and it’s a little scary but not terrifying. There used to be one of these in Gilford, but it is no longer. When I was younger, my brother, cousin, and their friends used to think they were funny and would brake unexpectedly on hills, backing up all the slide traffic and causing a pileup, kind of like in that Simpsons episode where Homer gets stuck in the slide at Mount Splashmore. Stay away from the line with any junior high kids in it, is the moral of the story.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Island Girl
When I was in high school my family and I lived on an island. Governor’s Island, the third largest island on the Winnipesaukee, is attached to land via a bridge: a glorious arcing bridge, which my friends and I used to tackle head on by going at full speed, feeling the car just sort of jump into the air at the top, like the General Lee.
Life on the island was pretty great, except for all of the rich people. One old man who looked exactly like Alfred Hitchcock (at least in my memory) used to stare at young women in their swimsuits. One group of fifty-something women had dibs on a particular spot on the beach, and if you tried to sit there, they would just move in front of you. Maybe it had nothing to do with their money--maybe they were just jerks--but there was a sense of entitlement.
The island had a sandy beach that all of the residents could use, which had both clay tennis courts and the regular kind, plus a clubhouse and a raft you could swim out to. The Island itself was great for walking, biking or jogging, with lots of hills, scenery, and little car traffic. In the winter my father and I cross-country skied on the many acres of conservation land. We lived in the center, away from all the millionaires, but everyone at school thought I must be rich because we had a Governor’s Island address.
Here are just a few of the things that happened while we lived there:
1. A pair of ninjas (I am not kidding) broke into a lakefront mansion with the intent to kidnap an entire family. The police had to cordon off the Island, and as I left for work one morning in my pancake house uniform they stopped me and checked to see if I had a ninja hiding in the back of my Mazda 323. I am not making this up, and I have a link to prove it.
2. A weirdo tried to abduct me when I was out jogging at twilight one evening.
3. Our neighbor across the street was an ex-airline pilot who lived in a tent in his living room. My whole family had a theory that he murdered his wife because she disappeared one day, but this was never verified.
4. Lee Majors (the six million dollar man) had a vacation home there. I never saw him, though. Apparently Brittney Spears had also been planning on buying a home on the water there as well, but it didn’t happen.
I tell you all of this to introduce my topic for this post: the Islands of the Winnipesaukee. Every source cites a different number of islands: 244, 280, 320, 365…I have lost count. Of those, six, like Governor’s Island, are connected to the mainland by bridges, some rickety, some secure. The largest, Long Island, is 1,186 acres and the smallest, Becky’s Garden, is about ten feet long. Becky’s Island has a fairy-tale legend attached to it, too: the youngest, nicest, and prettiest of several daughters of a man who owned several islands on the Winnipesaukee, Becky chose the smallest island so her evil sisters would be less envious of her. Despite this, Becky’s Garden became the most popular island of all and a dollhouse was erected on the island each year to commemorate her purity and unselfishness. Way to suck up, Becky.
Some of the island names are great: Little Vixen Island, Jolly Island, October Eve Island, Spider Island, Black Cat Island. Not all of the islands are residential: Three-Mile Island is owned by the Appalachian Mountain Club, and Stonedam Island houses a 140-acre wildlife preserve—you can take a boat out there and hike to the top to get a great view of the lake and islands, bring a picnic, use the beach, and take a rest in the for-public-use log cabin.
One of the larger islands, Rattlesnake, actually had rattlesnakes living in it as late as the 1940s; their skins are preserved at a local museum. Diamond Island used to be one of the stops of the old Mount Washington; it had a hotel there in the late 1800s which was reported to contain a brothel, where men from Boston could enjoy a discreet weekend. Bear Island apparently is most known for a series of brutal bear attacks on surveyors, who, it should be known, shot at the bears before they were attacked. Here is an excerpt from one of the surveyor’s journals, courtesy of the Lake Winnipesaukee Historical Society:
Down came the four maddened bears almost instantly, wounded and prepared to fight. There was no time to reload guns, so they were cast aside. Knives were the only weapons that could be used. The bears were met with long hunting knives. Some of the men were struck and sent sprawling, but were up again quickly and others were seized in the bears' terrific embrace and bitten and clawed unmercifully.
In the end the men won, after stabbing and drowning those poor animals, but I am not alone in thinking that this story reeks of fabrication. Bear Island used to be called “Big Bear Island, “ but now it’s just plain old “Bear.”
Island animals sometimes outsmart the humans, though. My favorite story is the one about how Horse Island got its name. A man had tried to transport some of his belongings (including his horse) out to his island and a storm caused a shipwreck in transit. However, the horse managed to get to their destination and was living happily, the whole island to himself'; Horse Island was to him as I had always wished Governor's Island to be: deserted, and all mine.
Life on the island was pretty great, except for all of the rich people. One old man who looked exactly like Alfred Hitchcock (at least in my memory) used to stare at young women in their swimsuits. One group of fifty-something women had dibs on a particular spot on the beach, and if you tried to sit there, they would just move in front of you. Maybe it had nothing to do with their money--maybe they were just jerks--but there was a sense of entitlement.
The island had a sandy beach that all of the residents could use, which had both clay tennis courts and the regular kind, plus a clubhouse and a raft you could swim out to. The Island itself was great for walking, biking or jogging, with lots of hills, scenery, and little car traffic. In the winter my father and I cross-country skied on the many acres of conservation land. We lived in the center, away from all the millionaires, but everyone at school thought I must be rich because we had a Governor’s Island address.
Here are just a few of the things that happened while we lived there:
1. A pair of ninjas (I am not kidding) broke into a lakefront mansion with the intent to kidnap an entire family. The police had to cordon off the Island, and as I left for work one morning in my pancake house uniform they stopped me and checked to see if I had a ninja hiding in the back of my Mazda 323. I am not making this up, and I have a link to prove it.
2. A weirdo tried to abduct me when I was out jogging at twilight one evening.
3. Our neighbor across the street was an ex-airline pilot who lived in a tent in his living room. My whole family had a theory that he murdered his wife because she disappeared one day, but this was never verified.
4. Lee Majors (the six million dollar man) had a vacation home there. I never saw him, though. Apparently Brittney Spears had also been planning on buying a home on the water there as well, but it didn’t happen.
I tell you all of this to introduce my topic for this post: the Islands of the Winnipesaukee. Every source cites a different number of islands: 244, 280, 320, 365…I have lost count. Of those, six, like Governor’s Island, are connected to the mainland by bridges, some rickety, some secure. The largest, Long Island, is 1,186 acres and the smallest, Becky’s Garden, is about ten feet long. Becky’s Island has a fairy-tale legend attached to it, too: the youngest, nicest, and prettiest of several daughters of a man who owned several islands on the Winnipesaukee, Becky chose the smallest island so her evil sisters would be less envious of her. Despite this, Becky’s Garden became the most popular island of all and a dollhouse was erected on the island each year to commemorate her purity and unselfishness. Way to suck up, Becky.
Some of the island names are great: Little Vixen Island, Jolly Island, October Eve Island, Spider Island, Black Cat Island. Not all of the islands are residential: Three-Mile Island is owned by the Appalachian Mountain Club, and Stonedam Island houses a 140-acre wildlife preserve—you can take a boat out there and hike to the top to get a great view of the lake and islands, bring a picnic, use the beach, and take a rest in the for-public-use log cabin.
One of the larger islands, Rattlesnake, actually had rattlesnakes living in it as late as the 1940s; their skins are preserved at a local museum. Diamond Island used to be one of the stops of the old Mount Washington; it had a hotel there in the late 1800s which was reported to contain a brothel, where men from Boston could enjoy a discreet weekend. Bear Island apparently is most known for a series of brutal bear attacks on surveyors, who, it should be known, shot at the bears before they were attacked. Here is an excerpt from one of the surveyor’s journals, courtesy of the Lake Winnipesaukee Historical Society:
Down came the four maddened bears almost instantly, wounded and prepared to fight. There was no time to reload guns, so they were cast aside. Knives were the only weapons that could be used. The bears were met with long hunting knives. Some of the men were struck and sent sprawling, but were up again quickly and others were seized in the bears' terrific embrace and bitten and clawed unmercifully.
In the end the men won, after stabbing and drowning those poor animals, but I am not alone in thinking that this story reeks of fabrication. Bear Island used to be called “Big Bear Island, “ but now it’s just plain old “Bear.”
Island animals sometimes outsmart the humans, though. My favorite story is the one about how Horse Island got its name. A man had tried to transport some of his belongings (including his horse) out to his island and a storm caused a shipwreck in transit. However, the horse managed to get to their destination and was living happily, the whole island to himself'; Horse Island was to him as I had always wished Governor's Island to be: deserted, and all mine.
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