The Mummy Returns

The first time I wore a wedding gown was in college, where I went to my friend Amy's class to be a "live mannequin" for a presentation she was doing. I don't really recall what kind of class would have students do something like this, but Amy was interested in the wedding industry. Since I did not consume food during my entire junior year of college (only a slight exaggeration), I was the only one willing to do this who could fit into a size 2, so I agreed to it. It was 1989, so the dress was truly craptacular--big shoulders, fitted, mermaid skirt, weird, collar-like neckline and smothered with beading and lace. It was heavy and hard to walk, in, too; I had to take little steps. I could not figure out how anyone could walk down an aisle in such a dress, let alone attend a party--I was like a mummy, all bones and shrouded in lace. All the girls in our dorm came downstairs to admire my finery, and everyone seemed to think it was beautiful, but I was definitely not one of those girls. It was a Catholic women's college; we even had nuns living in our building, and a lot of my friends got married during or right after college, yet I could more readily see myself going into outer space than getting married.

I remembered this when we met with the wedding organizer for the Mount Washington this past weekend. Although she seemed really fine with anything we wanted, and repeated "it's about what you want" several times, she still insisted on the idea that I need to make some sort of grand entrance and not see Scott until the ceremony. She also told us a story of how one groom stepped on the bride's long dress only to have it completely rip down the back. Then the bride punched him.

It is even harder than I expected to explain why I find some wedding rituals not only unecessary, but ridiculous, in ways that have little to do with my age. I have also been stumped many times by the question, "What are the wedding colors?" I just don't get the impulse to match everything (too "matchy matchy" as Heidi Klum would say)--as long as you don't have anything like fuschia or periwinkle, most colors go together pretty well. I do appreciate those who flout convention and do really over-the-top things, things, though, like the bride (see picture at left) who wanted a cake that looked just like her. She was roundly criticized online, but I think the haters need to step back and admire her chutzpah.

Most of the people we met with about the wedding have been pretty laid back, though. The baker actually seemed too mellow--he kept getting the information wrong (August 15th, right? At the VFW hall? And you're Mandy?), and it wasn't really a "cake tasting" as the Knot explains it; I tried a couple of sample of cupcakes with frosting (it was chocolate or vanilla--no cherry fillings or hazelnut cream,as the Knot promised--but it was really delicious. The frosting was really light and fluffy and not too sweet, and the vanilla cupcakes were also airy but had a kind of sweet crunchiness on the top. He agreed to the whole strawberries, and we'll have some kind of flower on top. Karen, who is doing the flowers, is thinking about rose petals. BTW, she does not spray her roses, so no fear of pesticide poisoning.

The wedding favors will be from Kellerhaus, which is that faux-Austrian ice-cream and candy shop near where a lot of you will be staying. I wanted to go with chocolates, but I didn't like the wedding theme decorations for the boxes (swans, hearts, cupids, those naked "Love Is" children) so they let me pick an anchor. Later, Scott questioned the symbol of the anchor (do you want an anchor right under your name?) but I wanted something nautical. And anchors can be good things--it's not as though I chose a picture of a brick with a rope tied to it.

The reception hall in the boat is on the lowest level, and there are no windows. Don't worry if you tend toward seasickness--the boat was on the water and there was no movement at all that I could discern, and the lake only gets slightly choppy at times (and that can be felt only minimally). If you are nervous about this, try sea bands--they are effective on the water. I wouldn't recommend Dramamine if you are even going to have one drink. I almost passed out visiting Scott in Michigan once when I had half a glass of wine after Dramamine. We won't spend that much time in our reception hall anyway--after food and cake, we can lounge by the water and watch the NASCAR dads and retirees from Connecticut dance the electric slide, all ceremonial details complete.