Freaks and Peaks

Weirs Beach is about 40 minutes away from the most picturesque and strange part of NH, the White Mountains. Although I like to think of the terrain where we live in Chesterfield as fairly mountainous, it has nothing on the Mt. Washington area, which is part of the Appalachian trail and has a lot to offer visitors, especially those who are not afraid of heights. The area is a geologist’s dream: Winnipesaukee itself is a glacial lake, and there are many caves and gorges. Unfortunately, our state landmark, the Old Man in the Mountain (a face-shaped rock formation on a peak in Franconia Notch ) crumbled three years ago today. But truth be told, there wasn’t much to do there except to say, “yup, looks like an old man,” so his demise should not deter anyone from visiting the area--there's still a lot to see.

Mt. Washington is the highest point in New England, with a summit at 6, 288 feet. It’s also the site of the “worst weather in the world” (a question I got right in trivia last year!) because the weather station at the summit recorded the highest winds on record: 231 MPH. The average mean wind speed is 35 MPH, with, according to the website, “hurricane force winds every third day.” More than 100 people have died on Mount Washington, mostly because of exposure to low temperatures (the wind chill has been recorded at -120 degrees Fahrenheit). They get 566 inches of snow on average annually.

The tourist activities in the White Mountains can be summed up in three words: trains, trams, and trained bears. Yes, there is hiking, biking, fishing, and all of that, but the hiking aspect of it is surprisingly underplayed in its advertising. What IS emphasized are all of the other ways you can get to the top without breaking a sweat. These include three trains that traverse the area, including the Cog Railway, which makes a 2 ½ hour round trip to the summit and back. You could also take one of three gondolas/trams, including the Aerial Tramway, a tram that seats 80 people (this makes me nervous just writing it) suspended by a cable, up to the 4200 ft. summit of Franconia Notch. You can also take your car up Mt. Washington. Driving around NH in the summer, you can often see bumper stickers reading “This Car Climbed Mt. Washington.” There’s an auto road designed just for this purpose. Just make sure your brakes are OK--they emphasize the importance of a functioning braking system. If you decide not to take your own car, they provide guided tours in what appears to be an airport van or, in winter, the Snow Coach.

Another activity for the adventurous set: mountain bike trails at Attitash (the same location as the Alpine Slide), bike trails that you need a ski lift to take you to, that go straight down a mountain (one trail is called “scrambled eggs.”) However, if risking your life is not your thing, you can rent a mountain bike and take some of the 12 miles of scenic bike trails on the “family friendly” route. This is a good place to add that northern NH in general embodies the "Live Free or Die" spirit of our state motto. Lots of interest in "extreme" activities (Bode Miller is a local hero here) and personal freedoms (Bode Miller's cousin was shot by a local vigilante after he--the cousin--shot and killed a police officer a few years back)and you will find some, uh, eccentrics among the locals, some of whom are not particularly friendly to tourists. Do not turn around in anyone's driveway if you make a wrong turn, is all I'm saying.

If you like caves, whether in a Freudian or academic way, you are in for a treat. There are three different cave parks in the area: Polar Caves, Lost River Gorge, and Flume Gorge. I have not been to any of these since grade school and I would love to go again. Both involve hiking, but on the way you get to see waterfalls inside of caves, pan for gold, gemstones, and fossils, and learn about rocks.

The only thing I clearly remember from childhood visits to the White Mountains was watching the trained bears at Clark’s Trading Post. Now, it’s kind of hard to describe Clark’s Trading Post. It’s kind of a museum, kind of an amusement park, kind of a freak show, kind of a gift shop/pitstop. It contains “The Mysterious Tuttle House,” a house that, according to Curious New England, “somehow breaks the laws of physics…everything is a little off-kilter.” And “Merlin’s Mystical Mansion,” which Curious New England describes this way:

Merlin, an eccentric magician, mesmerizes you in his dreamy
Victorian parlor until—zap—reality starts to shift, you feel
weightless,and—well—we won’t spoil the surprise. The ruse is
brilliant…using a combination of motors, computers, trompe
L’oeil, and sheer trickery.

The site contains this warning: If you suffer from claustrophobia, motion sickness, or epilepsy, or are afraid of the dark, you will not want to enter. Duly noted.

Clark’s also has a museum which houses animals with extra appendages (including a calf with two heads), antique typewriters, weaponry, and rare china. They also have two Mutoscopes, those very early film devices in which you put a penny in to see an animated picture, and one of them has a striptease show.

The trained bears swing on swings, play basketball, pretend to talk on the phone, and drive little cars. The site emphasizes that “no bears are forced to perform,” but I don’t know what that means. They have a talk with them beforehand, and if the bear says no he doesn’t go on stage?

If you are coming to the wedding and want to take a day trip to the White Mountains (if you can't tell from this, I highly recommend it), here is a map (see Weirs Beach at the very bottom?)